Last Updated on: May 9th, 2018
This is Princess (Prinnie) comforting me after surgery…
THIS IS A ‘TRUE TALES TUESDAYS’ POST
Last week, as most of you already know, I had surgery. Since I’m not even getting my bandages changed until Thursday, AND tomorrow marks the day I published my first post EVER on this blog, I thought I’d do something different today. By the way, I’m still in pain, and it just isn’t in me to blog much right now.
In fact, I wanted to do something special for my one year blogoversary (it’s tomorrow), but I just don’t have it in me to make a big production of it. Well, that’s a lie. I actually just created something special for Friday. Yep, I’m featuring myself this Friday! The post I was going to run this Friday has been pushed back to next Friday. So I’m getting back into the swing of things, finally. Since my surgery, I haven’t wanted to do much other than lay around and let Princess comfort me. I guess she knows how I feel; I took care of her for quite a while when she had problems.
Before I gross you out with some pictures, let me tell you that I’m actually rather disappointed with 2014 so far.
All of my plans are going down the drain this month. I’ve been depressed, sick to my stomach, and generally hate having obligations to live up to when feeling this way. I kinda screwed up, too, last week, when I had my post published on Carol Tice’s blog. Things went awry and I tried my best to fix them. I succeeded, to a point, thanks to many of you who left me a comment as a result of me sending out an email. Thank you for making things better for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read my guest post and comment on it. And read my email. You guys (and gals) are just the BEST! 😀
I’m having many mixed feelings about blogging right now. I think it’s due to my recent operation, though. Hopefully, I’ll bounce back soon. On one hand, I love blogging and all of the relationships I’ve formed with the wonderful people I’ve met this past year, but on the other, I’ve failed to meet my personal goals, the biggest one being getting my poetry book published (yeah, the one I wrote almost 18 years ago).
I still have not written a query letter to a traditional publisher. Yes, I want this book to be published that way, even though I’ll be self-publishing my own book of short stories (someday), as well as the memoir book I’m working on. (If truth really be told, I haven’t touched it in a while. Hopefully that will change soon.)
Actually, I haven’t been working on anything lately. I simply don’t have the will to do so. It’s actually kinda pissing me off. Yeah, I normally don’t cuss, either. Which just goes to show you how pissed off at myself I am. Ugh. With my recent surgery so fresh, I thought I’d take this opportunity to tell you about all of my operations; I’ve had many.
In fact, a comment I made to Belinda, the woman behind Busy Mind Thinking, prompted me to write about my accident. I didn’t want to, but she thought it might help people get to know me a bit better. I then wondered if I should just chronicle all of my surgeries, in case my medical records ever go missing or I end up with Alzheimer’s and need a few reminders about my life. So this week, I’ll simply list some of the things I’ve been through, and the week after next week I will let you in on the details of how I nearly lost my leg. (You’ll get the complete story, too. I wrote it as sort of a short story, but it’s a true one. I was thinking of using it in my book, too, but I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to see how things progress with that. In the meantime, I figured I’d simply publish it as a blog post; you all deserve to know about some of the hell I’ve been through. For now, I’ll speak about it briefly and factually, since it is part of my list.)
My List of Operations
It has been almost nine years since I was in a Ski-Dooing accident. I nearly lost my leg in February of 2005. In fact, I did lose some of it! I had two operations on it, and they removed a lot of flesh, approximately enough to equal the size of two meaty steaks. One big steak, for sure.
It took me more than six months to heal from these surgeries, and I had to learn how to walk again, spending some time in a wheelchair and then using a walker. I felt like an old lady, and I was only 33! My accident and surgeries caused my leg to be a bit deformed. I ended up doing a lot of self-loathing for a while. For years, actually.
My self-esteem suffered tremendously. I have finally resigned myself to the fact that I will never have a “normal”-looking leg again. I’m scarred for life. Physically, yes, forever, but emotionally, too. Most days it doesn’t bother me much, mentally.
I still experience pain on a daily basis. Some days are worse than others, depending on my level of activity. I have certain physical limitations. I am not supposed to lift heavy things. Climbing ten flights of stairs is out of the question. Sitting cross-legged is not an option any longer. I’ve also been told to stay of the sun for extended periods of time and to keep my leg constantly elevated. I have varicose veins in both of my legs, too, as well as a touch of arthritis in my joints.
Overall, I seem to be in rough shape, but I am grateful that I still have both of my legs. I know the situation could be worse. I could be dead. Or legless.
In 1998, I had an operation on my right hand. I had an abnormal bone growth – a bone spur – and the operation was not done cleanly. I ended up with an infection. Thankfully, I was living with a boyfriend at the time. He helped me with the chores and self-care that involved the use of both of my hands. He washed my hair and helped bathe me, since I couldn’t get my hand wet. Most couples have showered together at some point, so this wasn’t so bad. The good part was that I got out of doing the dishes! The most embarrassing part of this ordeal was having him brush my false teeth. It’s a good thing we were close to one another. He definitely proved his love for me while I healed.
When I was a child, I had my tonsils taken out. I had been coughing up chunks of white stuff, for a couple of years, off and on. Things were worse when I had a cold. I often complained and, finally, the doctors scheduled surgery. I can recall writing out a will. This was my very first operation, and I was terrified of dying! I think I was twelve years old at the time.
My next surgery was an abortion at age 16, followed by the removal of my teeth at age 22. At 33, I had two operations on my leg. At age 41, I had my appendix out. Remember my true story of How I Nearly Died?
This is a picture of my leg where I had my recent surgery. Gross, huh?
This is a picture of my leg where they took the skin for my skin graft from.
A little over a year later, I had surgery on my leg… which I told you about last week and has coloured this post, too. The good news is that I’ve managed to write up a few posts and schedule them for the next few weeks. I’m not giving up just yet. 😉 In fact, next week’s True Tale is pretty personal. And a bit embarrassing. Stay tuned!
In the meantime, tell me about YOUR operations, if you’ve had any.
And sorry to gross you out with these pictures. 🙁
Just as everyone has already said, “Operations suck!” I’ve had three major surgeries in the last five years. The last one was in 2012 and was a 20 pound ovarian tumor. It was not cancer, but extremely painful and fast growing. Anyway, when my health seemed to be going downhill, I had a tough time getting motivated to do anything. I thinks that’s normal, and I know you are strong, like me, and you’ll bounce back. It’s okay to take it easy and give yourself time to recover and then you’ll be stronger than ever.
Poor Donna! I’m glad your tumor was not cancerous and that you had it removed. Ugh. Sounds painful!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, too. 😉 I think you may be right! 😀
Stay healthy, girl!
Hey Lorraine
Sorry to hear 2014 has hit you so hard. That is not a good start at all.
As I think I might have said already, reminds me of my 2013. And I still have work to do on my leg (but i know yours is also not 100%).
We just have to try to lift your heads and get on with it. Although I was not “in the thick of it” when I was home with my leg. So I can’t imagine having blog posting pressure while feeling sick! ahhhhh
Hope it continues an upward trend
ashley
Thanks for the good wishes. You know they’re always appreciated.
Even though I’m suffering, my belief is still one of “Onward and upward.” Definitely…
A little hole in my leg (okay, maybe not so little, but little compared to what I’ve been through with my other leg – story coming soon about that!) is not going to deter me from my ultimate goal. Uh-unh. Not me. Not this chick. Tell me I can’t do something, and I’ll do it ten times better just to spite you. That’s the kind of girl I am. 😉
And I’m sure you’re wise enough to know I’m not talking about “you” specifically – this is just a generalization.
Yup. I’m a rebel to the core!
But it sucks being a rebel in pain. (Big sigh.)
Are you able to ski this winter, or is your leg still healing?
Judging from the attitude you show in this post, you’ve come through the surgery with flying colors. (I thought you would. 🙂 )
Don’t push yourself too much. Take your time during the healing process.
My attitude just suffered a drop. I went to the surgeon’s today and found out that I’m going to be healing for quite some time. 🙁
I have a hole in my leg, and it’s going to take a while to heal. I have to keep my leg elevated otherwise I might “blow the skin graft right off” and then I’d really be in trouble. (His words, not mine.) Ugh.
Hmm, let’s see, where can I start. My first major surgery was at 10 years old. Doctors needed to insert a catheter into my groin to check my heart (I have a heart murmur). After being diagnosed with Kidney Disease, I had two failed surgeries to establish a stent for dialysis because my veins were too small back in 2007. 2008 marked major surgery to insert a peritoneal tube in my abdomen for Peritoneal Dialysis. A year later, I had a blood clot and had to get a filter inserted in my groin, again. And in 2010, I had a kidney transplant for my last major surgery, God willing. Fun ride, Lorraine.
Holy smokes, Robert… you’ve been through a lot! Good to still have you with us!
Fun ride? Ha. Yeah, a pain for sure. 🙁
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
I hope some of your poetry comes from your struggles. 😉
Sometimes my poetry comes from that. Mostly just the experiences I’ve had, other than medical, and also music. Lots of music.
Yeah, I noticed that! 😉
Rock on! 😀
You’re made of the right stuff to face these challenges and come out smiling. Bless you and thank you for caring about others while going through your own crisis. Good luck to you in all you do and God Bless you. Kharis Macey
I’ve found that having a positive attitude helps A LOT. In fact, I got bitched at from one of the nurses when I had my first operation after my ski-dooing accident. She really gave it to me good! I adjusted my attitude rather quickly after that. Compared to that operation, this one is not bad. So, yeah, I’m doing okay. For now. I just hope the doc has good news on Thursday.
Thanks for your comment, Kharis.
I’m certain the results will be positively great. Keep looking up. God Bless. Kharis Macey
There is no other place to look! 😉
Praying you have a speedy recovery, Lorraine. I’ve had two major surgeries and it seems like forever to get back to normal. Yes, sickness sucks.
Thanks, Elaine. I can’t wait until these cuts heal. I’m not too worried about the skin graft part; that looks like it should heal nicely. I am kinda worried about how my lower leg is going to heal, though. They say the skin there won’t be as strong. I also think I may have a nasty scar.
I’m sorry to hear about your surgeries. I hope you’re better now!
You’ve been through a lot, so take time to heal properly. Winter is not a good time for me either. I get the blues and feel down. 2014 has not started out very well for many people. I guess that’s why the bears hibernate in winter. You have accomplished a lot in your life in spite of adversities. Keep going! Write! Write! Write! You will get published eventually, but you can’t get published, if you don’t have something written. One of my goals is to epublish this year. Once I get something published, I know I will feel better about myself…
As far as surgeries are concerned. It doesn’t matter to me what happened in the past. It’s what happening now and how I can shape my future that matters most. We all have obstacles in our lives, use them to climb higher.
I know you’ve been through hell with having Lupus. I can’t even imagine what you’ve gone through. I’m so grateful for your support, too. Sickness sucks. There’s no doubt about it.
Your attitude is great, Jo Ann. I admire it. I hope we both find it in ourselves to reach our writing goals, too, because once we die, our writing will live on forever. Morbid thought, death, but nice to know we’ll be immortalized in our words and writing achievements, don’tcha think?
Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine…
Like Belinda said, what you have accomplished in ONE SHORT YEAR is amazing! I understand that you have set the bar for yourself at a very high level, and that’s as it should be. That said, set you goals in smaller steps. Not only will you reach them more quickly, but you will also get the SATISFACTION of having obtained them! A little satisfaction goes a long way! Also please remember that “persistence overcomes resistance” – keep plugging away!
You are wonderful, kind Soul and we (your readers & friends) think you’re pretty damn special. Do NOT forget that!
Operations – left knee (torn ligaments), mole removal (no cancer), stuff for guys over 50 (Yuck) and I am having hernia surgery Thursday! Oh, yeah…I have store-bought teeth too! 🙂
Recover quickly, keep positive, don’t be so hard on yourself and autograph my copy of your book when it comes out!
Hey there, Toby. The other day, upon some prompting from Diana and Jeri, I finally set up a Mailchimp account and am going to start a newsletter. (Notice my new widget on the top? You will next time you visit my blog!) This was a mini-goal I’ve had for a while and I finally accomplished this TODAY, in the last few hours. Having a list helps, too. I like ticking things off of it when they’re done.
Operations for men? Yep, I know what you’re talking about. I’d say LOL but I know they’re no laughing matter. I’ve known many men in my life (especially with my old lifestyle) and have heard stories…
I’m sorry to hear about your upcoming surgery. I am glad they figured out what’s wrong with you, though. I know you’ve been feeling crappy for a while. (Remember Facebook? I do, too.) I’ll keep you in my thoughts and hope you have a speedy recovery as well.
I’m trying to stay positive. Try following your own advice, there, too, big guy. 😉 I’m not sure what I’d do without you. And of course you’re first in line for an autographed copy. 😉 You are the Fearless Leader, after all. And so much more…
Subscribed to your newsletter!
You’re the first! And that’s why you are my number one fan!
I’ve had a few teeth surgically removed. That’s it for put-me-to-sleep surgery. I’ve had one outpatient kind of surgery that I got to watch. Yuck! It was a big deal.
I hope you heal quickly. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
hugs
Hey, JR, thanks for sharing. I watched the doctor remove what I thought was a cyst and it was a bit disgusting. I’m glad I didn’t have to watch what the surgeon did to me this time; I don’t think I could have handled it. When it’s happening to someone else, I can watch surgeries with no problems, but when it’s happening to me and my body, it’s soooo different.
Sending you some hugs back. Thanks for the hugs and prayers. 🙂
You’re welcome. We’re all in this together.
🙂 I’m feeling the love.
Yes, we are! 🙂
I am so proud of you. I sense you feel you aren’t accomplishing enough. My friend, look at what you just did here. It’s not easy putting oneself out there completely, yet you did – all in the hope you may offer another hope. Embrace yourself for me. Sending you much love. Thank you for the kindness of referencing our chat, that was felt deeply. xo
Belinda, I have such high standards for myself that when I feel like I am not meeting them, I get mad at myself. Forgiving myself is really, really hard to do. I’m not sure why this is.
Chatting with you was great and reminds me how lucky I really am, not just for what I CAN do, but for the wonderful people I have met online this past year. Like you, sweetness. 😉
Sending you hugs!