Last Updated on: June 14th, 2021
THIS IS A ‘TRUE TALES TUESDAYS’ POST
Identifying my rapist is probably the most unconventional way of accepting an award, but somehow it makes sense for me, since part of the acceptance is to reveal seven things about myself. Because I cannot simply just say, “I was raped,” and then tell you six more things about me, I decided to shift the focus and combine my acceptance of this award with telling you some things, intimate things, about my past. This is a True Tales Tuesdays post after all!
I’ll start by letting you know that Sherri Matthews recently awarded me with the “One Lovely Blog” Award, which I have renamed (see the end of this post) as “One Smokin’ Hot Blog Award” because I just cannot see the men accepting an award with its current name. (Hey, this is the blogosphere, and we can make our own rules! Besides, these awards were created by bloggers for bloggers, and improvements never hurt anyone!)
When Sherri and I met online through Donna Jean McDunn’s blog, we both described each other as one lovely lady in our interactions, and we shared a few laughs at the fact that we are two of a kind; we are both women who have suffered in the past, we are both bloggers, and we both write poetry. According to Sherri, there are no rules for this award. Google says otherwise!
The Rules for One Lovely Blog Award (AKA the One Smokin’ Hot Blog Award):
- Thank the person who nominated you and link back to them in your post.
- Share seven possibly unknown things about yourself.
- Nominate fifteen or so bloggers you admire.
The thing I like about this award is that there is no restriction on who you can nominate. This means that bloggers who have large followings are eligible for nomination! (This is different from the Liebster Award, which is designed for newbie bloggers!)
Now that I’ve thanked Sherri, I want to tell you a few facts about me. Rather than simply list them numerically, I am going to reveal them by telling you about me and my rapist. As it turns out, I am STILL dealing with this issue. Unfortunately, I likely will be dealing with this for the rest of my life.
7+ Unknown Facts About Me and My Rapist
I tried to commit suicide at age 15, as a result of being raped when I was a virgin. I also turned to drugs (smoking pot) in my attempts to cope with this devastating event. I ended up quitting high school, too. Four times. I started looking for love in all the wrong places. I became promiscuous, thinking that guys would love me if I gave them sex. My views about sex became pretty messed up after I was raped. I didn’t tell my mom about my rape for years afterward. I wish I had. Maybe I wouldn’t be so screwed up in the head when it comes to sex and love and the difference between the two if I had. Maybe my life would have taken a different turn. However, there is no sense speculating on the coulda-woulda-shoulda. That’s not going to get me anywhere.
When I was in my early twenties, I sought counselling as a way of dealing with the after-effects of being raped. Mine were horrible, since I was raised in a fairly strict Catholic family where virginity was a gift to be saved for marriage. Because of the beliefs that were so deep-rooted in me, I had a particularly tough time dealing with my devastation. During one of my counselling sessions, my psychologist asked me if I had ever charged him. When I told her “no,” we explored that possibility. I thought it was too late to file charges, but it wasn’t. I debated on whether or not I should. Would it bring me closure? Would anything bring me closure? Filing charges was a difficult decision to make, but I DID end up bringing charges against my rapist. His name is Lorne Chabot, and he was 29 when I was 14. Since I am 42 now, he’d be about 57. I still hate him.
Hate is a strong word, and I don’t use it lightly. I actually don’t hate anyone except for him. It bothers me to even say or type his name, or look at his picture, which, I discovered, is all over the internet. Ugh. My stomach is roiling even as I type this. I honestly feel like throwing up, and it has been over twenty-eight years since the rape occurred. Will I ever get over this? I highly doubt it.
The reason this is currently at the forefront of my mind and not buried deep within me, like it usually is, is because I have been working on writing my memoirs/autobiography this month, as part of my NaNoWriMo goals.
When I was in my early twenties, I ended up having to go to court many times, and be present with my rapist in the same room with me. He opted to be tried by judge and jury. He had the woman who introduced us speak on his behalf. She was my friend once upon a time; she was the one who introduced us.
She also lied under oath.
Seeing her lie on the stand was awful. I couldn’t believe she betrayed me. Since I had no witnesses to present, I was found to be less credible than him. Can you believe that? I was outraged. Even now the thought of Debbie’s betrayal sickens me. They found my rapist “not guilty” and I was once again crushed. However, seeing him in the courtroom throughout the process of charging him and bringing him to trial did, at the time, bring me a small sense of comfort, because it was evident that he was sh***ing bricks, worried that he was going to be found guilty of the crime he committed.
I should actually say “crimes,” since I was not his only victim. I found this out by talking to others on a “chat line” a year later. I don’t know how many others brought charges against him, or even if they did, since I was not about to follow his life or his possible fate. I cannot bring myself to write his name more than once, so please forgive me for referring to him as “him” or “he” – he doesn’t deserve to have his name mentioned more than once.
Apparently he is on Facebook. He’s also on Twitter, G+, and LinkedIn.
He still has an ego – his Twitter handle is FOXSMART. This just goes to show how highly he thinks of himself. Personally, I don’t think he’s all that smart. 
Then again, he DID get away with raping me.
I didn’t know if I was opening a can of worms by tweeting this, but I think that others should be warned about this guy. I never imagined us crossing paths on the internet, or in real life again, even though I did, a few years later, when he tried to pick me up on one of the occasions when I was prostituting myself. (How I got into prostitution is another story, but it largely resulted from my having my views of sex altered dramatically from being raped.)
I’m not sure if he even saw my tweet, but I don’t care. It wasn’t meant for him to see, but for others, so they can be warned about this guy.
This guy IS a rapist, and he knows it.
When he was raping me, I begged him to stop. I told him I was a virgin. I clearly voiced my thoughts and feelings. He didn’t care. I certainly didn’t give him any kind of consent, although I eventually stopped fighting him and prayed for him to finish. I remember crying in his bathroom afterwards, and bleeding, even though it was not my “monthly” time. I can remember the entire layout of his place. The whole ordeal is ingrained in my memory forever.
Dealing with this has been tough, but I’m trying. Still. I have mentioned my rape in past posts, most recently in my post Writing Is Therapeutic and Helped Me Cope With Being Raped. I’ve also written a poem about it. In fact, I have written several. The Quiet Rose is the more positive one.
I realize that the topic of rape is depressing, and one that probably shouldn’t be discussed when accepting an award such as the One Lovely Blog award, but what makes this blog “lovely” is the fact that I blog with an honesty that many people don’t. I put myself and my emotions out there for the world to see. Granted, I do find writing to be therapeutic, and there is a small part of me that wants to know if people actually want to know more about me, which will one day (hopefully) help me to sell my book about my life (if I ever get it finished….it’s only just started!) but mostly, I blog because I like blogging.
I think other bloggers blog for the exact same reason, which brings me to the final part of this post: my nominees.
The One Lovely Blog Award (now known as the One Smokin’ Hot Blog) is to be given to bloggers I admire.
While this list is not exhaustive, I admire these people/blogs:
Max Ivey, a blogger who is blind (yes, blind!) who blogs at Midway Marketplace
Adrienne Smith
Ashley Faulkes from Mad Lemmings
Greg Narayan from Dear Blogger
Jennifer from JenUsingWords
Sue Mitchell from An Untold Story
Sherrey Meyer from Healing by Writing
Susan Cooper from Finding Our Way Now
Christy Birmingham from Poetic Parfait
Connor Rickett from Cities of the Mind
Diana Marinova and her blog
Arleen Harry and her blog, Garrett Specialties
Benny Hsu and his blog, Get Busy Living
Cubby from Reowr
Sherryl Perry from Keep Up With the Web
Toby Shoemaker from Dumbass News
Debra Yearwood from Comm Before The Storm
Becc from Take Charge Now
Lois from My Cruise Stories
* * * * * * *
I could add several more bloggers here, too. In fact, I could likely list about a hundred. However, 100 is not “15 or so” and so I will end here, with the hope that the guys I’ve nominated don’t laugh at me for nominating them for a “One Lovely Blog” award. Remember, the rules say to nominate bloggers I ADMIRE, and I do admire you guys, for different reasons. If you don’t want the One Lovely Blog Award, but want the “One Smokin’ Hot Blog Award” instead, then all you have to do is create an image/award for it, maybe using some flames coming out of the word “blog” — just don’t use a smokin’ hot woman, please! (Do I sound sexist? Sorry!)
At this point, I don’t know what else to say. I’m exhausted; emotionally wrung out. So, if you want to leave me a comment, do so. If not, that’s okay, too. I love comments, but know that talking about rape is difficult for many people, and makes them uncomfortable, so I’m not really expecting anyone to say too much. I do respond to all comments, though, and would love to hear from you.
Hi Lorraine,
I am literally out of words right now. I am not sure what to say. Being a rape victim itself takes a huge toll and you had that awful incident at 15, so even if I can’t relate to it, I can surely understand how tough it would have been for you. But, sharing this story out to the world would have been even more difficult as we are people and we judge…
However, I believe that anyone who is a victim of such an incident would be encouraged now after reading your story and a new hope of life would be ignited now telling them that it wasn’t your mistake and there’s no way you have to suffer or bear the punishment even for a second because of what some lusty moronic devil did to you!
Kudos to your courage and determination to thrive and be a success in your field even after facing so such at a young age.
Rajeesh, your name reminds me of Raj on The Big Bang Theory. 😉
But let’s get serious here.
Yeah, what happened to me was awful. And I wish it did not happen. But if I can provide courage to others through being open about it, and helps another victom/survivor, then I will be happy to have helped her (or him).
People judge, it’s true, but more people have responded favorably to me for being honest about the stuff I have been through and done (including smoking crack and getting involved with prostitution). I truly expected to be shunned and hated when I revealed this stuff in a guest post a couple of years ago…
http://www.sylvianenuccio.com/rape-drugs-and-prostitution-one-bloggers-journey-to-success
But guess what? I received an outpouring of LOVE and SUPPORT.
I was shocked… and very grateful.
Just because I made bad choices, I think others understood that they stemmed from the incident of being raped… and my inability to cope with this traumatic and devastating event.
Now, I use different coping mechanisms as well as positive affirmations to get through the hard times.
Thankfully, these days, they are fewer and far between (not as common as they used to be).
Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I hope you will share this with the women in your life… just in case something happened to them that you don’t know about.
I am so sorry that you were raped and at such a very young age. Can you believe that men are raping babies? I’d like to know how this evil develops from a seed of thought in a man into action and ruination of countless lives, just because they have an “urge”. Unspeakably bestial and vile.
My sister was raped in Italy by an German whilst she was on holiday with her boyfriend. The Italian police did nothing to try to track the rapist down, even though he was probably a guest at the same hotel. They treated my sister like she was a nut job nuisance. She became anorexic and still is at 55. She is still badly affected by it and it has ruined her life. I believe she will have chronic osteoporosis due to the anorexia and will probably die a horrible painful death due to it and all because of this one traumatic event that happened to her as a young adult.
I was later date raped after drinking too much out of shyness. The man is a “pillar of society” and very wealthy. He has children and grandchildren and it really bothers me that he is thought of as a good guy when he is a c***.
Later again, a male friend attacked me in my own house – I got away and locked myself into the bathroom. I would n’t leave until I knew he had left my house. Husbands of friends have come onto me and one turned up at my house one evening making it obvious what he wanted. I didn’t let him in. Another occasion, before my newly built house had street lights – a man knocked on my door before I had chains and locks on it and wouldn’t say who he was but stayed outside my front door for about ten minutes, until I told him that I’d phoned the police and taken a photo of him from an upstairs window (I hadn’t). I often wonder what would have happened if I’d been stupid enough to have opened that door. I could recount similar events that have happened to friends.
Many millions of women are at danger from rape, because they don’t think that the men they know around them are capable of it. I know that many millions of men out there, would not dream of harming a fly, but there are many millions more out there that could easily rape if the circumstances made it possible for them to do so and get away with it and many millions more who have actually committed rape – some of them will be serial rapists and some will have killed their victims too. I blame a lot of it on porn and the general hatred that men seem to have for women. I am glad that I never had children, because I know that no daughter of mine can be raped and no son of mine can be a rapist. Rape is one of the vilest crimes and unless you have been raped, you can’t know how vulnerable and frightened you will feel for the rest of your life and how you feel you can never, ever truly feel happy and relaxed about life.
Thank you very much again Lorraine for speaking out about your rape and your rapist. May he rot in hell along with the rest of the bastards.
Oh Simone, my heart goes out to both you and your sister. It is soooo hard overcoming such a horrific trauma, isn’t it?
Thank you for speaking out, too. Sometimes unloading or having a friend to talk to helps.
I am floored by your comments and agree with you wholeheartedly; may they all rot in hell!
High five to you! And hugs as well. 🙂
Congratulations on the award! I think you are very brave for putting your story out there. Reliving something so horrific is hard, but I do hope it will help you in some way.
Becc, you have supported me so much on G+ and on your blog, in your comments, too, throughout the past two weeks and I am so grateful. I’m feeling much better now. Thank you.
I find that keeping busy helps. Naturally, the support I have received has been great, but I think unloading this burden has given me some comfort as well. Either way, I’m back on track and am feeling normal again. 🙂 (If there is such a thing!)
Lorraine! I nearly missed this. I can very much understand why you find it so hard to forgive and let go of this incident in your life. I hope that writing about it helps. Brene Brown says shame thrives in a “petri dish” of secrecy, silence and judgment. You’re working to eliminate those conditions.
Also, thank you for giving this award to me and my dust-gathering blog. Although the blog is way down my list of priorities, I keep it going with the occasional post because I love how it connects me with thoughtful and courageous people like you. I invite anyone interested in writing about their lives to visit and read through the old posts. I agree that there’s some great stuff there from a variety of writers (including one Lorraine Reguly) in addition to my own posts.
Sue, it doesn’t matter if your blog gathers dust on occasion as long as you don’t abandon it altogether! Your memoir writing package of tips is fantastic and make an impact on others, which is great! I can attest to this, personally, since I have used (and still use) them. 🙂
If you post once per month, that is enough, in my opinion, since it shows that you care about your readers (few as they may be) and genuinely want to help them. Maybe consider more guest posts? I know you are extra busy this school year, teaching, and so blogging has taken a backseat to your more important priorities. That’s okay! Just please don’t give up. Here’s something that may help; please read it. I found this a while back when I was questioning my own blogging situation.
http://www.dailyblogtips.com/reasons-to-keep-blogging/
Sue, you were the woman permitted me to guest post on your blog last March. That was my first guest post, ever. I don’t think you know how much it helped me. It gave me confidence to approach others, it taught me a lot, and it started my list of places I have been published online. Because of you, I found the strength and courage to begin my memoirs. I have a few chapters written already, and plan on referring back to your tips as I write more. Don’t underestimate yourself and your blog, Sue.
You are a wonderful person who is intelligent, kind, and compassionate. Thanks for everything you’ve done for me.
You didn’t make it onto the list of “bloggers I admire” for nothing, you know. 😉
Thanks for commenting, here, Sue. Have a wonderful Christmas season, and a Happy New Year, in case I don’t bump into you until next year!
Thanks, Lorraine. I don’t underestimate the value my work and my blog has on others. If I did, I’d stop altogether while I’m teaching full-time. People regularly write and tell me how something I’ve written or provided has helped them. It’s very gratifying. I’m sure your blog has had positive impacts as well, and I know your 30-day writing challenge got a lot of people back into a writing habit after an unproductive period.
Thanks, Sue, I’m glad to hear that. I’m currently working on another guest post that mentions this challenge. I don’t want to jump the gun here but I am a bit excited about it! I am so happy I was able to help others (along with you) to get out of their funk. 🙂
Kudos to you for having the courage to do this post after all these years. I can imagine closure can never really be had, but I’m sure sharing this story and also identifying the bastard does help.
Amazingly, it did bring me some comfort after it was published although writing it and the days after writing it were really tough.
I was almost scared to turn on my computer the day of publication but was pleasantly surprised at how much support I received from my regular readers! It has given me strength and eased my pain.
Thanks for adding to this, Jeri. I appreciate it!
I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through, but I do know you’re on the right path. You’re a survivor and an inspiration for women who have had to face what you did. You are showing them that they can change the course of their life.
Thank you for mentioning me as one of the bloggers! You should mention yourself because you’ve been doing a great job with yours this year!
Thanks, Benny! Your kind words mean a lot to me!
I have grown a lot this past year – as a blogger, yes, naturally, but as a person, too. I’ve had a very positive experience so far being online, and my only regret is not getting a laptop years ago. However, I believe everything happens for a reason, even though we may not know the reason at the time, and so I am grateful now for the direction my life is taking, even if it means feeling pain again as I continue to deal with my past. I’m lucky to have a wonderful support group here, too; did you see all the wonderful comments I got? These people are some of the greatest people I now know. Including you, of course!
Thanks for stopping by! See you again, Benny, either here, on your blog, or on Facebook in your group – or all three! 😀
Lorraine, As you know we have much in common. I say leave him to deal with the devils he makes friends with and you continue on your positive path. While he won in court you always come out ahead in life– remember that and keep shining, dear friend. I thank you for the award and congrats to you on receiving it too xx
Thanks, Christy! I know that we are both survivors, and that we’ll both make it to the top and leave scum like him at the bottom where he belongs.
You deserve every bit of this award!
Wow! What incredible courage. Thank you for sharing, Lorraine.
Thank YOU for your comment! I decided it was about time I spoke up about this. I appreciate you reading and caring.
Lorraine — I admire your courage in the face of a horrific crime committed against you. I hope that eventually you will find peace and be able to move on.
Thank you, Jeanette. I hope so, too.
Lorraine, i have no idea how you manage to put yourself out there like this on your blog 😀 This post is super personal and i can see why you got upset while writing it. I truly hope (and wish for you) that after finishing your memoirs you will have moved on and will no longer relive this horrific experience every time you think, speak or write about it!
Congrats on the award – and thanks for the nomination, too! I will give you a tweet now but i think i won’t blog about it – not for some other reason but no way i can blog about it this year (i know, it’s still November, but my posts and plans are all lined up until end of 2013 – hahaha, unless there isn’t a timeline for it? :D)
on a side-note – can you pls fix the anchor? My blog is NOT about freelance writing – it’s about freelance and marketing… I cannot believe you are reading my blog for so long now and you still refer to it as freelance writing blog LOL. there are no writing tips in it and i wouldn’t want someone to get the wrong idea and feel mislead if they land on my blog followng your link and found zero writing tips 😀
Diana, I have updated the post and now I simply refer to your blog as a blog. You provide tips about freelancing, so sorry for the confusion.
There is no time limit on this award.
I have no idea how I keep managing to put myself out there (here), either. Since my blog is about my life and my experiences, bad AND good, I just keep doing this, week after week, and people seem to like hearing about me. I’m hoping that everyone will want to buy my memoir book; there seems to be a market for it!
I have led a very interesting life, Diana, as you are coming to know. 😉
Your courage is so evident – the fact that you have overcome so much is an inspiration to others who have been through the same trauma.
I love this quote by Carl Jung ” I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become” – it reminds me of you – thank you for sharing Lorraine
Thanks, Mich, for your support and your comment. Carl Jung was one smart psychiatrist! I agree with him, and you, too.
It would be nice if others who have been through similar experiences find the courage to speak out, too.
You do have quite a story. I can see how writing about it could dredge up some very bad memories. I wish all the best with you’re efforts. Thank for the nomination and shout-out. Your support is very much appreciated. 🙂
Susan, that’s the biggest problem I’m having with writing my memoirs – dealing with the bad stuff I thought I was already over.
You’re welcome for the nomination, by the way!
Lorraine, it takes courage and a lot of moxie to do what you’ve done here. I’m proud of you! The truth is the truth, and yes, the truth hurts. But the fact that HIS truth continues to hurt you as you find him “alive and well” online creates an injustice of the possibility of you continuing to hurt. I hope this exercise in telling all will bring you some peace and healing.
Thanks for the nomination — I feel I’m in good company!
Sherrey, even though I may not be one of your regular blog readers, I have encountered you on Sue Mitchell’s blog and in LinkedIn enough times to know that you, too, have had a tough life that you are now (finally?) writing about; hence the nomination. (You’re welcome.) I can totally sympathize with you and the pain you are going through, too, since we are basically in the same boat – dealing with our past issues as we write our memoirs. It’s a tough road we travel, isn’t it?
Hi Lorraine,
I am so sad for you. The pain you still endure is horrific. When someone is sexually abused or assaulted, they are never the same – their lives are irrevocably changed forever and a completely different path is created.
I was abused when I was four. I didn’t start the healing process until I learned how to forgive this person. Not forget but to forgive.
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” ~ Buddha
Wishing you the best, Darlene
Darlene, thank you for reading and commenting. I am so sorry to hear that you, too, were abused. I don’t know if I can ever forgive my rapist for changing my life forever. I’ve actually tried, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. I think part of the reason is because of the whole religious aspect of things. I felt guilty, like I was being punished for something I did. I recall words I continually grew up with: “God’s watching you all the time. He sees everything. He knows when you are bad. You’ll be punished!” (I was raised in a Catholic family.) Since I ran away from home after a fight I had with my dad one evening, I honestly felt that I WAS being punished for doing that. I carried that around for years. It dissipated when I sought counselling, but not completely. I think there is still a small part of me that might believe this, even though my counsellor drilled into my head that, “It’s not your fault, Lorraine.”
I wish you the best, too, Darlene. By the way, I can remember picking apples when I was a child. My grandparents had an apple tree in their back yard. 😉
Hey Lorraine,
Wow!!! I can’t even imagine what you went through taking him to court and he won! I would be outraged as well. Especially knowing that not only is he still walking the streets as a free man all these years later but that he’s done it more then once.
I really am sorry you had to deal with this because I know it had a lot to do with the direction your life took. I also know we can’t live with regrets because they’re over with and done. We have to learn how to live life to the fullest every single day in the present moment. I think writing a book about your life has probably been very therapeutic. I sure hope so.
Thank you so very much Lorraine for naming me as one of those bloggers you admire. I’m honored, touched and very flattered. Oh and I’m blushing too! 🙂
Rock on Lorraine and hope you have a wonderful week. Hang in there girl!
~Adrienne
Adrienne, thanks for your kind words of inspiration! I love your attitude. Sometimes it is hard for others to hear it through simple text, but I can hear you loud and clear, and I appreciate it tremendously.
I really don’t think life is fair sometimes. What keeps me going when I think of “him” is that he’ll get his just desserts someday; what comes around, goes around. It’s funny, because I am not a vengeful person at all, by nature, but where he is concerned, all that goes out the window. You don’t want to know some of the thoughts I had when exacting revenge on him in my mind…they are not pretty.
As far as the nomination goes? I’m happy I flattered you! I’m hanging in there, too. 🙂 With wonderful people like all the bloggers I met online, I’ve received, and am continuing to receive, great amounts of support and encouragement. And I appreciate it all.
Hi Lorraine, there is nothing in this world I could say to help you get over this or even make you feel better. The only thing I can say is, I’m sorry this happened. I hope someday you will be able to get past it. Forgetting isn’t an option and maybe forgiving isn’t either, but what you can and should do is love and live the rest of your life with joy because you have a great deal to be proud of and a lot of people who care about you. You have some wonderful qualities and you deserve great things in you life and as long as you remember those things, you are rich.
Donna, not much more I can say to that, except a heartfelt “thank-you” since you seem to totally “get” me.
I try to live my life to the fullest in every way that I know how to. I’m rich because of people like you, too. 😉
I like the name you gave this award Lorraine, and congratulations again. Like I said, I was happy to pass it on to you in the same way in which I received it, without any rules, but who am I to argue with Google?? 😉
The cool things about awards is that WE can set our own rules! I like to be the first in setting trends, too! I just hope that the One Smokin’ Hot Blog Award is one that catches on! 🙂
As for good ol’ Googs? Ha. We can argue with her if we want. LOL
Thanks for making me smile with this comment, Sherri!
hi Lorraine; Thanks so much for nominating me for the award. I have no problem with it being the lovely blog award as i may be a guy but it seems the bloggosphere has many more women in it. Is there a graphic I am supposed to include? if so, can you email the file to me? I am honored to be included in this. After reading your post I’m not sure if I’m worthy but i am thankful. and the list of people you nominated includes several that i follow and that i would plan to nominate as well. You know I have never really thought of myself as doing anything special, but i have come to understand that by running my site writing the blog and building a business i do inspire people. I am starting to accept the role and am considering a second blog on personal development. will let you know what i decide. thanks again for the nomination. I’m in very good company. Take care friend, max
Max, you ARE in good company! Bloggers are awesome people! We fit into a class of our own.
I will email you the file of the image you can use for the One Lovely Blog Award. I know many male bloggers, but yes most are female. See you soon!
Wow, that’s a very powerful blog, it really makes a statement about how one long past traumatic event can haunt a person’s entire life. As you mentioned it is not the average award acceptance blog, but it was certainly very much more interesting. Quite sad though, especially since he got away with his crime against you. I hope that outing this helps you in your lifelong road to recovery.
Thank you for the award nomination. Because I’ve been given this award previously, rather than writing another blog about it I’ve added your name with a link to this blog onto the list of nominations for that award on my awards page. http://mycruisestories.com/awards/
Thanks for the unique shout-out, Lois! I appreciate it. Because of you, I am now seriously considering planning my dream trip. When I will get to take it is still up in the air, but at least now I have some options. So thanks for that.
I’m glad you enjoyed my unconventional post. Even if was about something bad…
I am actually feeling a bit better now that this post has been published. Writing may be therapeutic, but publishing it and getting feedback is even more so!
I had got the feeling after chatting with you that you were one kick ass lady, now I know you definitely are after reading. I think we all admire your strength and courage to share these details and talk about something so traumatic. You are someone I truly admire, each post a bit more.. Until reading this, I hadn’t thought about women or men being on social media and THEIR rapist/abuser/etc. being there as well. That’s got to be a number of things, weird and creepy come to mind for sure. I almost want to go tweet this person and tell them how awful they are but it wouldn’t bring you anymore peace I’m sure. It seems you have found a better place now, writing and sharing this I hope helps too. I’m glad you are no longer silent and carrying this around with you! Thank you for nominating me. That’s now four nominations that I need to accept and work on, lol. I may need those videos after all or us FaceTime or do something lol. If I go away tomorrow I will get help but I may not be going away anywhere with the intense pain this week has ushered in! Anyways, you are fab and I look forward to learning more about you! Take care!
I’ll work on a video, Jen, and let you know when it is up.
It is pretty creepy that animals like my rapist are on social media, or at least have accounts on them. I don’t know how active he is, and I don’t really care.
Thanks for your kind words, Jen.
Where are you going?
Today is the day I’m leaving the comfort of home to travel 6 hours away to St. Louis, MO. I don’t know when we are leaving nor have I packed for it. I still really just don’t know if it’s a great idea to go. I have very little medicine and I’ve been feeling sick since the weekend. All that sounds terrible huh?
I don’t know why you would travel unless you absolutely have to…
It was not fun!!!!!!! My bf basically guilted me, I think..
Awww…
For the last four years, every year we’ve been together, his family has been meeting in St. Louis, MO. We live in Arkansas and it’s an hour from state line and then another 5-5 1/2 hour drive to St. Louis. With the chronic pain I have and also my panic attacks and anxiety/OCD, I’ve skipped every year because of all the symptoms and things I struggle with. I can never plan things because I never know how sick I will feel or how my pain will be. It sucks. Plus, I have like four pills to my name and with no meds to take I can’t function or cope well. It’s the worst. This year however, I still ended up going. I’m in a lot of pain with a headache I just can’t shake but I’m happy I am here now. Being in a car with a ten year old, his grandparents, 2 dogs…..it’s different, lol. I am just hoping I can cope well and be social. I tend to isolate when I’m feeling bad or having panic attacks. People think I’m a snob but I have to be off away from everything sometimes!
Jen, I’m sorry that you have to suffer so much each day. You’re not alone, though. Maybe you should meet Belinda from Busy Mind Thinking. She deals with pain each day, too, and blogs using only one hand. Then there’s Max, a blogger who’s blind. While he’s not in pain, he faces challenges that we can’t even imagine dealing with. Or Becc, who went from Sickness to Sensational, somehow. The list goes on and on. I’d recommend getting to know Belinda; you and her would definitely get along! (No, I’m not trying to get rid of you. In fact, I made a video today that will be featured in tomorrow’s post JUST FOR YOU. So, sweet thing, consider yourself special!)
You’ll be notified since you are a subscriber. Thanks for that, btw!
Happy Thanksgiving, kitten! ;D
You are amazing and such a great friend! Thank you for all the suggestions, I will definitely look them up. And I’m super honored to be responsible for your next post too! Can’t wait!!! Hope your holiday was nice and stress free! Thanks, kitten!! xoxo
I actually have to say thanks to you, Jen, for giving me the incentive I needed to learn how to use screen-recording software. I spent Thursday experimenting with it and learning how to use it. I’m still learning its ins and outs, but I made a pretty good video for you and other new bloggers to use. I published the video, too, so I hope you watch it and like it and learn from it. I’m looking forward to getting feedback on it from you – it was made with YOU in mind. 😀
I’m definitely appreciative of it and you taking time to help me. It’s good too because this whole visit has been a chaotic mess and I’ve not been able to do anything I’ve wanted to do. I watched it once already when you first posted but I plan on watching again and again! I can’t wait to get home and be able to do the things I want!!!!
Jen, my little muse, I’m expecting to see some links on your blog now! 😀
I’m glad you are using this video to help you! Consider it your Christmas gift from me to you. It took me all day to learn how to make this video and then it took me another hour-and-a-half to upload it to YouTube. But if it helps, it’s worth it. I might make you another one, too. We’ll see what happens. 😉
I got home today and once I can move I’m going to get started on things, I really appreciate all the help and advice you’ve given me. I just hope I can apply it soon!
It takes time, Jen, to learn everything, so please don’t feel rushed. We all learn at different paces.
Thank you for understanding. I feel overwhelmed doing anything these days I think! But I’m going to watch and try today if I am up to things, the car trip is pretty miserable for my back! I’m feeling super old!
No problem Jen.
Let’s continue this conversation on the post that actually talks about the video, though. It’s better for my SEO and Google rankings. So far, Google likes me and I don’t want to get on her bad side!
You’re still new and learning about blogging and may not take this seriously yet, but you might someday, depending on what your blogging goals are.
Thanks!
Lorraine
Btw, don’t worry about the videos just yet! I’m starting to absorb some things from yesterday and I may have links and copy/paste down. I think those are the vital skills needed to do the awards, I think?!
Yes, if you can copy and paste, that’s pretty much all you need to know. Maybe I’ll do a post about this, with an accompanying video.
🙂
I’m not sure what I would find more difficult or which would require more courage, outing a rapist or encountering that person living life online. I hope this helps to exorcise some demons.
I hope so, too, Debra. I can’t believe I am STILL dealing with this.