Last Updated on: July 15th, 2017
On May 17, 2014, my beloved son was in a motor vehicle accident.
The picture of the crashed vehicle (above) was the one my son was driving when he was hit by someone going through a red light. I think it was taken by Randi-Lynn Manduca, but am not entirely sure. (I don’t know why there is a line through this link; perhaps it because it links Facebook page?)
I learned about the accident the day after it happened, on May 18, 2014, and my son said that I could find some pics on this person’s Facebook page. Naturally, as a mom, I cried when I saw the photos but am happy my son lived through it and is still alive.
The truck that hit him is rumoured to be driven by a young man (age 20 or thereabouts) who had just broken up with his girlfriend, was upset, tried to involve her and her mom in a car accident but failed to, and so sped away from her house, accelerating and running a red light as my son happened to be going through a green light on the other street. (Yeah, my lucky, lucky son…)
The truck flipped and rolled, coming to a stop in someone’s front yard. He apparently went to the hospital but is also being charged.
The Psychological Effects
Since the accident – which was reported as a scary crash on our local news site – son has been terrified to drive. He no longer owns his own vehicle (he got rid of his last year), but driving was part of the job he had. I say “had” because two days after the accident, he actually quit his job. He’s still anxious when in a vehicle. He also gets freaked out when riding his bike. Intersections scare him, and I don’t blame him one bit!
Pictures of the Accident
Here are some more pics of the accident, also taken from the aforementioned person’s Facebook page:
I posted this on Google+
After the accident, I posted this on Google+, but I was brief. It was simply too soon to blog about it. I had to cope with a few things first!
A Different but Similar Accident
I know how my son feels, too, because I was in a similar accident about four years ago. I was in a taxi, going through a green light, when it was hit by someone going through an intersection.
The person who hit the cab was travelling the wrong way on a one-way street, so of course she didn’t see a stop sign or even a traffic light because it was a one-way street.
The air bags saved the driver and me from severe injuries. The other car spun around a couple of times, but didn’t flip like the truck that hit my son did. I think it was because it was not going as fast.
Each time I passed that particular intersection again, I would start to get anxious when I was about three block away from it, and my anxiety would not abate until I had passed safely through it.
While I can say that I’m not as anxious now, I can still remember how quickly the accident happened – the car appeared from out of nowhere – and how I felt afterwards.
I was in other accidents, too. I nearly lost my leg in one of them!
Dealing With the Emotional Aftermath
Dealing with the emotional aftermath of the accident my son was in has brought us closer than we were before. Plus, it has made him appreciate his life even more than he did prior to it. Fortunately, his physical injuries were not life-threatening and he suffered what can only be described as “minor’ injuries, including soft tissue damage. His back is still sore to this day, and it is unknown at the moment what kind of long-term damage has been done. The psychological damage, however, remains.
Over to You
Have you ever been in a car accident? How did you cope with it? Are you scarred psychologically?
Please share your thoughts and experiences. Perhaps I might learn a thing or two from your stories.
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The note is helpful. I am glad your son is well and doing good in his life. Overcoming the trauma is much difficult to cope and handle. I am glad your son is recovering and doing good in his life. Everyone cant handle such situations without panic attack. Staying calm while facing such accidents is important but not an easy task.
Thank you so much. I’m glad he is doing better now, too!
It’s definitely hard to remain calm when accidents happen.
We never know when will accident occur, so the best thing we’ll do if we will be caught into an accident or some of our family members, is to remain calm, panicking can’t help you in times of a situation like this. If you remain calm you can think clearly what you will be going to do.
Jarett, that’s great advice but not everyone remains calm when they’ve nearly been killed.
I can completely understand your fear.
Thanks… and sorry to hear that. I’m assuming you, too, were in an accident of some sort and also have suffered similar after-effects. Correct?
I can completely understand your fear and emotional scars that have left after that accident and specially what your son went through? Did you explore the legal options and were you and your son adequately compensated?
Remo Faria recently posted…Tips on Making a Personal Injury Claim After an Animal Attack
No, he was driving someone else’s car. But he is okay now. 🙂
Hi Lorraine,
Glad your son is doing well physically. Emotionally speaking, he will need to get behind the wheel again, but on a gradual basis. He can not be forced. My wife was involved in three accidents, and the last one took its toll on her. She refused too drive for two years. I did not push her, but allowed her to choose when she would get behind the wheel. I helped her along, on short trips, (one mile round trips) and gradually, she was able to drive full time.
It’ll take some time, but he’ll come around. Again, so thankful that he is alright physically. Blessings.
Hi, Dr. Johnny! Nice to see you again!
Thanks for sharing your wife’s experiences, and, by extension, yours too. It’s tough trying to get someone to do something they are just not ready for. Patience is important. Very important.
I hope your “other half” is okay now…
Lorraine,
I can so relate to this. Our daughter was in a car accident February 6, 2014 and it was a similar situation to your sons. She was heading North on a 2 land road when a man in a trail blazer crossed over a double solid line and hit her head on (totally both vehicles).
Like your son, she has soft tissue damage but she’s also suffering from post-concusive syndrome. She’s been in constant pain since the accident and is unable to work. She went out on personal injury insurance (mandatory here in Massachusetts). After three months, her employer (a local restaurant where she waitressed) fired her for not returning to work quickly enough. She goes for physical therapy twice a week and will be returning to her neurologist next week.
My daughter returned to driving shortly after the accident. She is nervous and it’s stressful but we live in a rural area and a car is mandatory. (She quickly replaced her totaled car with the insurance check.) Actually, being able to drive is one of the few things that helps her maintain a sense of independence. She had already moved back home with us but she had been planning on moving. Now, between the pain, no income, no possibility or being able to work in the future and expenses, she has resigned herself to depending on us. Understandably, this is very depressing for her.
I wish your son the best of luck. He’s fortunate to have your support.
Take care,
Sherryl
Oh, Sherryl, I am sooo sorry to hear about your daughter! And only a few months ago this happened! 🙁
I’m happy she’s alive! It’s gotta be tough on her, though, having to depend on you again. But it’s good that she’s getting behind the wheel and facing her fears. And good that she’s got your support (emotionally, I mean).
Tell her she’s not alone. And remind her how lucky she really is. Perhaps that will help get her out of her funk.
I wish you both the best!
Here’s an update: My son has just found a construction job, so he’s busy. Thank God for that. It’ll help keep his mind off the bad stuff.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing. I’m starting to get active with the BHB group again. 😉 Enjoy the weekend!
Lorraine,
I can see that those pictures must have been very difficult to look at for you. I am also glad that your son is ok and that you have been able to see the positive in this as both a learning and bonding experience.
As for me, I have never been in a front end collision thankfully. Fortunately, I have amazing reflexes and have avoided several potential accidents. I have the worst luck with deer though, and I have been hit not once but twice by them. Both times they hit me on my drivers side after I stopped short to avoid hitting their pack! What are the chances of that?
Have a great day Lorraine 🙂
Adam
Hi Adam. Thanks for reading and commenting here. I’m guessing you’re a BHB group member too? 😉
It’s a relief you’ve not been in a collision! I don’t know what to tell you about those deer, though. Maybe you should paint your car a different colour?
Enjoy your weekend, Adam!
Hi Lorraine,
From first glance at that picture of your son’s vehicle I would have thought he would have had some serious physical issues but I’m so happy to hear that’s not the case at all.
I’ve been in some car accidents in my life but most of them were very very minor. I had one where I was sitting at a red light and I could see in my rear view mirror that a car was coming way too fast and not slowing down. She was busy talking to someone sitting next to her and not even looking at the road. She hit me at about 55 mile an hour but all I could do was brace myself for the impact. To say that my car was not drivable was an understatement. My neck and back did hurt for a good while but it didn’t stop me from driving.
Years ago I had a roommate and her sister was killed in an accident similar to your sons. She was driving through a green light when a Dr. Pepper truck ran the light and broadsided her. She fell on top of her 2 year old son who was right next to her since they were in a pickup truck. She was killed but she saved her son’s life. It was a tragic and very sad accident. She was a wonderful lady and way too young to die.
Your son was saved for a reason Lorraine and maybe it was to teach him to appreciate life more. If he can do that then I guess it was a lesson worth all the pain. I’ll keep him in my prayers that he can get past this and go on to do great things.
~Adrienne
Adrienne, I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s sister. The only good thing about that horrible tragedy is that she was able to save her toddler’s life. Thank God for that! Life is not fair, but I hope the little guy can appreciate what his mom did for him.
You know, when I saw the picture, I thought the same thing – that my son would be more damaged, too.
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I’m glad you ended up feeling okay even if your car didn’t quite make it through.
I just wanted to let you know how glad I was to learn that your son survived such a harrowing accident; after reading your post I know he must feel very traumatized from it.
When I was 16, I was in an accident that happened when the (very new) driver made a left-hand turn too soon in front of an oncoming vehicle. I was in the front passenger seat. Luckily I didn’t get injured, but literally decades later I still get totally freaked out when I’m in the passenger seat and the driver is making a left turn.
It takes time to heal, as you know. My prayers are with your family, dear Lorraine!!!
Dyane, isn’t it funny how things stay with us for such a long time? I can still remember another accident I was in. I was with a few friends one summer and we were going out to a lake, to go swimming. We were going down a hill and the brakes failed. The driver had no choice but to turn – otherwise we would have ended up in the lake. When he turned, we hit a car that was directly in front of us and I hit my head so hard that it looked like a golf ball was coming out of my head. When I got home, my mom freaked out at the sight of me. I don’t think any long-term damage has been done. Like you, we had made a left turn. (Kinda like the accident you were in.)
I’m glad you are okay!
Thanks for the nice sentiments, and . . . don’t make any left turns.
Hi Lorraine,
First, I’m glad to hear that your son was not seriously injured. I’ve been in a few car accidents. The first was the day before my 13th birthday. My father was driving a brand new Pontiac Parisienne traveling westbound… 15 minutes from our destination… the car flipped end over end 8 times, knocking median signs down, crossing both lanes in the eastbound lanes to land upside down. There were 8 of us in the car, 4 in front and 4 in back. I was in the left behind my Dad. When the car stopped, I knew something was wrong with my left eye. The window flashing had torn it open. I put my hand up to realize where it was stinging and bleeding. The eye had popped out of the socket. I held my hand over the left eye. I turn my head to see my step-sister with blood gushing from her jugular vein. The only person who was not hurt was my brother Kenny who decided to give a play-by-play commentary. Ooh Bill, your eye’s hanging out… ooh Terry, your throats been slashed. Our stepmother told him to shut up. Several ambulances came and we were in the hospital fairly fast. They pushed my eye back in the socket and sewed up the tear. They missed the glass pieces that were in it, which I had removed years later.
No long term damage at all. I’ve been fortunate.
Bill, I’d hate to have seen your eye hanging out! UGH. I’m sure you were scared! I cannot imagine how weird that must have felt. Lucky for you they were able to save your eye. Wow.
I’m so glad you lived through all of your accidents! I bet you will never forget that one, though, no matter how old you live. You just don’t forget something like that.
Thanks for contributing to this discussion. It’s so great to hear that there was no long term damage. Phew!
So sorry you and your son had to go through that and happy that he’s all right,at least physically. How completely frightening that must have been. I hope, if nothing else, the young man who caused the accident learns a little about taking responsibility. It certainly gives you pause to reflect on what matters.
Debra, I don’t think young men really realize the preciousness of life until something tragic happens. Thanks for your comment and sympathy. I hope that guy has learned a lesson, too.
My son kind of understands now how I felt after I almost died from a burst appendix. It’s too bad that it takes an accident like this for it to really sink through.
Oh my gosh! I’m glad your son is all right. This is a parent’s worst nightmare. I hope you’re all right, too, and the two of you are comfort to each other.
I’ve been in crashes — had the side stove in where I wasn’t sitting — and one near-crash when a friend unfamiliar with a stick shift backed up into traffic and I found myself inches from a suddenly-stopped headlight. Trauma after the fact can build on itself; this is why riders, when the horse stops and throws them instead of leaping the barrier, get back on the beast and ride him over the barrier anyway. We can by stopped by fear more easily than we think. We cannot afford to dwell on the awful things that could happen, or else we spend our lives dreading what might happen, and make life little more than the anticipation of fear and more trauma. Tell your son from me that he should take from this incident the habit of caution, which will serve him in good stead.
Years after my crashes, I was in Florida driving my friend and her mother to sightsee — and another idiot ran the light as I was in the intersection. I was able to turn and brake and avoid the idiot, who later was stopped by police. I was less shaken than my passengers, who hadn’t expected the incident at all. But a little part of my attention was on what could happen when the light turns green, and so I was least affected and not hurt. I still haven’t been run into by anybody, and it’s been twenty more years. Prepare; don’t fear.
Peter, thanks for sharing the details of your experiences. Crashes seem to be a part of life for many people. I’m glad you are okay, and that your attitude is a positive one!
Good advice, too. Thanks! 😀
And thanks for reading, too. It’s nice to connect with my readers. Again. 😉
I have been in three accidents. None of them were my fault and nothing like what your son went through. I can understand his fear and emotional state at the moment. In my accidents the driver’s either didn’t have a license, didn’t have insurance, it wasn’t their car (or all three of the aforementioned), fled the scene after getting far enough away to see me and my daughter get out of the car, or fled but I caught up with them and phoned the police.
I hope that he overcomes this soon.
Kathryn, thanks for your comment and wishes. I’m sorry to hear you were in accidents, too. 🙁
It’s good to know you’re okay and weren’t seriously harmed.
I still love your middle name, by the way. 😉
I’m so glad there were no major injuries. My advice – get behind the wheel and drive. The longer he waits the harder it will be. In the long run, even thought this was clearly not his fault, it will make him a better driver, more cautious and aware.
Many years ago a driver made a left turn in front of me on a four lane street. We ended up 50 feet away in a yard and my cart was totaled. Fortunately I only had a banged up knee but it made me aware of how quickly things can happen and I think it also made me a more cautious driver.
My son lost control of our brand new vehicle on icy streets when he was 17. There were no injuries and only minimal damage but he is now an excellent driver because of that lesson. These lessons can be positive, especially when they happen as new young drivers.
Yvonne, I will encourage him to continue driving. However, now that he no longer has access to an insured vehicle, that might not happen. But I can see your point. Thanks for the tip. It seems that you and Jo Ann agree!
I appreciate you sharing your experience, too. I know this is a difficult subject to discuss, especially when injuries result. Thank goodness you were not seriously hurt! I’m glad your son is okay, too!
My son is now definitely more aware, as he now stops for vehicles who are far away even though in the past he would not have stopped for them. His outlook has changed and he is, indeed, more cautious already!
Plus, now we have one more thing in common. 😉
Lorraine this is so scary indeed, especially seeing that someone else who seems to have felt no reason to live wanted to also destroy another person’s dreams. I was in a double dose of accidents last year with the first one being someone behind me ramming into my car as he did not plan on stopping at a red light, and the second where my car slid on a slippery road which seemed like someone had poured oil on. It is traumatizing and scary to go through, but I will tell you that I still drive daily. I am always alert but I do believe God’s grace keeps us on the roads because there is always someone who is out of their mind while behind the wheel. Thank God for your son’s miraculous escape and thank God for you supporting him through that ordeal.
Welli, thanks for telling me about your accidents. I’m glad they weren’t too serious. Phew!
I don’t think my son would have lived if he had been driving a smaller car. Thank God he decided to drive that vehicle that day!
Wow! So glad he escaped with only minor injuries.
I was in a car crash but I can’t talk about it.
JJ, if you can’t talk about your experiences, that’s okay. I know that some bad memories might have been triggered from reading this post or looking at the pictures. Sorry!
I hope you are okay!
I’m glad your son has no physical injuries. I was in a car accident several years ago. The best way to get over it is to get back behind the wheel. Encourage your son to drive in rural areas until he gets used to driving again. Let a friend drive him to a rural area and then change seats. It takes time, but anyone can do it. The bottom line is – you have to believe in yourself. Your son did nothing wrong, so he has to tell himself that he can get out there and drive again. Just because it happened one time doesn’t mean it will happen every time he gets behind the wheel. Also, think of how long he’s been driving and this is the only accident he’s had. Thinking this way will put things in perspective and help him to get back to driving.
Jo Ann, those are really good ideas. I didn’t think of getting him to face his fears so soon, but you might be right. Thank you for the suggestion! 🙂
I hope you weren’t harmed when you were in your accident!